It is feels like this huge chunk of my life is gone. The worst part is that I miss him and I don’t want to do Sam because he’s happy somewhere else, [ Music ]. Four months ago I was in a six year long relationship with someone. I thought I would spend the rest of my life with we met in Montreal in 2013, where we spent our first two years together in 2015, we moved to Korea and we spent our third year traveling around Asia. After that, we were in a long-distance open relationship for three years.
It was a risk that we were willing to take because we were committed to each other in April 2009. He moved in with me in LA I thought we were finally going to be together, but I was wrong after only two weeks of him being here, everything fell apart the day he left was the worst day of my life, and I knew I had to do Something about it, or else I would stay miserable and paralyzed. So the first thing I did was reach out to friends. I’Ve gone through a breakup. What were things you did to move on from your breakup when my seven-year relationship ended?
I muted him in all my social media, because I knew I needed time for myself. I decided to put all the things in one box write a letter burn. It got rid of everything that reminded me of him to put myself out there. He took the first trip by myself dinner by yourself. I took up.
Writing I’m sorry to enjoy silence. One of those things was getting a septum piercing. You freed me from everything and it made me happier after talking to friends. I decided I need to complete three goals in order to move on goal number one give myself permission to feel. I need to keep opening up and just talk it’s just so I heard the say goodbye goal number two: accepting self.
I need to relearn to love myself and do things for me goal number three seeing goodbye. I need to complete this task in order to move on and just close this chapter of my life in order to complete goal number one give myself permission of feel. I decide to speak of a life coach in order to dive deeper and understand my emotions when you think about what’s keeping you in a suffering and this breakup. What’S the main sticking point for you, he was confused and maybe if I’ve done something better before his judgements would be clearer, sometimes I feel like regretting pursuing my goals being here and why wasn’t he happy with me? I was so sure that I wanted to be with him.
He was my best friend and I felt like he understand how painful this is you’re making it mean a lot of things about you. People make their decisions based on, what’s going on for them more so than what’s happening for the other person, but you said something very key about your relationship with him. You said I felt like I could be myself that part of you that push and be the best all the time that that softened a bit and you could just be you yeah. That relationship had end. So you can internalize this.
It’S so hard to say goodbye, but it’s so important to say goodbye, because the person that needs to accept you, Lillian, it’s you there’s nothing. You could have done differently. This was the result that really was for your highest good after speaking of Christine. I definitely feel lighter. I need stop blaming and torturing myself for something that is beyond my control and just focus on loving and accepting myself goal number two accepting self for this one.
I knew I had to push myself out of my comfort zone and do things that scare me. One of those things is to get my first tattoo. My friend told me his story of traveling and just getting tattoos after his divorce and that really inspired me. So I want to get a tattoo to mark the next chapter of my life. This is my first one.
Are you down to get another tattoo because I will literally fly out to New York, so we could get them together, York, let’s complete circles together. What tattoo are you getting today? I’Ve been thinking of getting a moon phase tattoo right behind my back I’ll, be getting good luck, my kid! This is my first tattoo, so I’m really nervous. Does it hurt people always overthink, but it doesn’t hurt at all you’re in good hands.
Ready well, doesn’t feel the pain is all about that you’re gon na get hooked after this. This breakup made me think of the moon phase, and I thought that was perfect. The moon changes and it’s going through different phases, and it’s just like how humans are going through life. We just keep evolving. I chose my cat today was much Ross.
We were living for 21 years together and he passed out a few years ago. So I decided to memorize him by having a portrait like it’s like a therapy for yourself. Overcoming something big will usually come if something happens, and they want to have that captured tattoo, in my opinion, is the only thing you’re gon na take with you. You can take a look wow. I really liked it details wow, that’s very cute.
Thank you. I love it so much Congrats. The very first has it sunk in, like I still can’t believe it’s there. After that. I want to push myself even more and do a no makeup nude photo shoot could give him what he was looking for.
It makes me feel like I’m worthless. I feel like this is a really important aspect of what I need to learn after the breakup. I definitely felt not good enough we’re not pretty enough. I have my hair up all the time. Maybe I just don’t put makeup anymore, so this is really like challenging myself and trying to look beautiful without makeup and my hair tied up [ Music ].
I was worried that my photos will look flat. Looking at the photos after it’s been shot, they look great, the photo shoot, helped me feel empowered and in control of my body. This is who I am, and I shouldn’t change that for anyone else goal number three saying goodbye. I decided to do a final walk in his neighborhood and solo dine at the restaurant, where we had our first date at six years ago. On my way to the restaurant I stopped by his old apartment after work, we would commute together and walk to his apartment, and even though right now, this is not a place that we would hang out.
This is still a place. That means a lot to the relationship and the stories that we’ve built. I could actually remember vividly this place. I only knew these places because of him, so I felt anxious being there by myself. We’Ve only gone together.
I remember the tables have little drawers underneath and there was a bunch of papers that people have left, poetry, little notes drawings, so I want to go there. I just want to write something that could be meaningful for someone else. So I want to write this note. Similar to what my friend’s mom told me, which really helped me process things, she said when you’re in a five or ten year relationship and that ends when you’re in your 20s or 30s. It feels like the end of the world because it’s such a big chunk of your life, but when you’re in your 50s or 60s and looking back at it, it doesn’t feel as important because there’s so much more that you experienced later on.
So I wrote. I realized it’s the end of the relationship and it feels like a really big deal right now, but I’m excited for when it feels like a pleasant memory. After I’ve lived more of my life, our six years together will only feel like a fraction. I’M glad I went to the restaurant, it wasn’t as awkward or as bad as I thought it would be. I was glad I enjoyed myself and I just wrote that message.
While I was sitting in the metro, I started to feel a little sad because I started to remember him. I remember us this reminded me that a relationship wasn’t always bad. There was a lot of happiness, I don’t work Brett, meeting him and I’m so grateful that he allowed me to be a part of his life for the time that we had after the whole experience of being back home. It was really emotional, but it was also the closure that I needed. His whole journey was very therapeutic, and I know that I am doing the right steps to move forward.
I’M still sad, obviously, because I’m not over him – and I know that takes time – and all I know is that I am on the right. What would you say there never have we had the chance? Oh that we heard this say goodbye, I’m just like so thankful and happy that I had him in this chapter of my life. There’S gon na be a light after this tunnel inward we’re gon na be we’re gon na be okay. If you are going through something similar, this whole process sucks it’s a really awful feeling, but it’s a part of being human.
Don’T let that paralyze, you just do the best that you can you’ll eventually be in a much better place: [ Music ], you